Shifting from numbers to meaning
A new approach to networking and connection
For the longest time, I viewed networking through the lens of numbers. I was told as a beginning entrepreneur, that it was a ‘numbers game’. It was all about accumulating connections—more people, more possibilities. I was told that the larger my network, the more impact I could have. It was a game of growth, one I thought was measured in metrics: followers, connections, messages sent, and posts posted. The problem with this approach, however, is that it subtly drove my communication style in a direction I hadn’t fully realized. It became transactional, impersonal, and it just felt less valuable.
I didn’t really recognize this until I sent a message to someone I truly admire: Bob Sutton, the author of The No Asshole Rule, an insightful book that has influenced my thinking on leadership and culture. The message I had sent to Bob was the message I sent to many others, it had a pitch, an opportunity to connect, and in my mind, it was a perfectly fine approach, albeit slightly templated.
But then, Bob replied—a message that initially stung. He told me my pitch wasn’t good. It was too impersonal. He could easily see that it was too much like a template.
At first, I won’t lie, it was a real blow. Here I was, trying to engage with someone I respected deeply, and the response felt like a reminder of my own shortcomings. It could have been easy to dismiss this feedback as just another lesson in the game of networking—something I could chalk up to “better luck next time.” But the more I sat with it, the more I realized how much truth was embedded in his words.
What I had missed was that I didn’t need more connections—I needed to connect in a way that was… well, better. The quantity of people I knew didn’t matter nearly as much as the quality of those relationships. I had been so focused on adding to my network, trying to cast a wide net, that I hadn’t given enough attention to cultivating genuine connections with the people already in it, and consequently, I was missing out on their insights. In that moment, I realized that Insightful Path, my work, thrives not because I have a vast network, but because I have a thoughtful, meaningful one. It’s not the numbers that make an impact, but the depth of the relationships I nurture.
This insight has reshaped my approach. I’m shifting away from focusing on metrics—on how many connections, messages, or followers I have—and focusing instead on the people who are already here. The people who matter. This year, my guiding direction will be about fostering real connections, conversations, and collaborations, not expanding the numbers game.
As I reflect on this, I recognize that this is more than a simple tactical shift. It’s a shift in philosophy. It’s about being more intentional in how I build relationships, how I show up for people, and how I invest in making every connection count. If I can be thoughtful and present in the connections I already have, the rest will follow—organically, meaningfully.
The truth, as Bob Sutton reminded me, isn’t that more is better. The truth is that deeper, more genuine relationships—ones built on mutual respect and shared understanding—are what matter most. It’s a lesson I’ll carry with me this year as I navigate both my personal and professional path forward. And I hope it can serve as a reminder for others, too, that sometimes it’s the quality of our connections, not the quantity, that truly shapes the impact we can have.
